Written by: Tracy Maness
I’ve always struggled with self worth issues. I just never thought of myself as much.
Back in the fourth grade when my teacher would sometimes let us grade our own quiz papers, I would write comments like “Way to go, Stupid,” when I incorrectly spelled a word or messed up a math problem. In the fourth grade, y’all.
A year later, my mom died after an awful and short four-month battle with brain cancer. My dad did the best he could, but I believe he was very angry with God. Our home quickly became very verbally abusive and stayed that way. (The abuse went all directions). If I wasn’t messed up before, I definitely was then.
Miraculously, my best friend brought me to church a month after my mom got sick, and I’ve never really stopped going ever since.
Fast forward 29 years or so, and a lot of those self worth issues still live in me. What I call the “not good enoughs.” They replay in my mind. “I’m not a good enough wife, employee, writer (I’m a full-time writer), friend, Christian…fill in the blank.”
I’ve been in church long enough that I know that God doesn’t make mistakes and that he created me (and of course, you) with a plan and a purpose.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made… in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-14, 16.)
I know in my head these things are true. I think a lot of Christians do. For me, it’s getting that knowledge to travel the 12 inches south to my heart.
I don’t have to look to the messages of the world that say I’m not thin enough, rich enough, smart enough, funny enough, that I don’t have enough followers or “friends” or whatever standard this world has to offer. Christ has a different and far better standard: his blood.
One of my favorite hymns says it all.
“On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.” –Edward Mote, circa 1837
Folks, as I’m writing this, I’m encouraging you (and myself) to find your worth in Christ alone. Go on. Be great at many things. Be a great, wife, husband, single person, child, parent, employee, student, athlete, etc. But get your value from the true source.
I’ve got one tattoo on my right wrist. It is two words in Greek, but that’s a story for different time. I’ve been thinking about getting a second one on my left forearm. I want it to say the word “enough” in pretty a script. I’m not sure whether I’ll do it – I probably will. But for me it’s going to signify how Jesus is enough and through his sinless life, terrible death and incredible resurrection that I am enough, too.
Folks, Jesus loves you, and you are enough. Remember that.
Tracy has been married to her husband Alan for 12 years. They have two dogs. They have been members at Crossings for less than a year.